Argo

"I'm basking on my branch above my house, feeling warm and lazy, when the human tries to pick me up. I hiss and inflate, showing irritation, but I don't really mean it. I lick his hand to show I am friendly."

"The human's hands are warm and idly I wonder what his fingers would taste like, but I know better food awaits me."
"Into the pool room I go!" (Ed. note, the master bathroom with a stand up shower. The basin holds just enough water for Argo to float a bit.)
"I enjoy the pool, the rain is soft and warm, and I expand my stomach for full warmth."

"Warm, so warm, I drift off to sleep."

Blorp! (Ed. note, you can figure out what *that* means all on your own.)

"Ah, I feel better now, the pool is drained and more warm rain comes in. A brief soak then off to wander around, many new smells to take in. I especially like climbing high up, so I can see more things and jump on human heads. They make such funny noises when I do this." (Ed. note, my gf screamed when Argo did this.)

Sniff sniff

"What's this? I smell meat! Yes, red fresh meat, served to me by the human. I eat it all up, licking my lips clean to get all the taste. There is nothing like the taste of red fresh meat. Yum!"

"Full, I let the human pick me up, noting that the fingers don't smell like red fresh meat. Maybe I will leave them alone. Back in my home, there is a fresh rainpool to mess up."

Splash splash.

"There, much better. Now into my house to sleep."